Necessary Endings

I was re-reading Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, Necessary Endings, today. The first time I read it, the timing was very interesting as there were a few things going on in life which I needed to “let go and move on”. Today, was a good reminder of the principles associated with “endings”.

In today’s culture, generally speaking, endings have a negative connotation. Most typically look at endings such as a lost client, lost job, not making the cut for the team, or a host of others as “negative”. As Cloud points out, in business and in life, often we must have Necessary Endings to move on to something greater.

One of the most notable examples in my life is the lose of job. While from a business standpoint, a lot of things were moving in the right direction in my life, from a personal stand point, I was struggling. The combination of travel and culture I was associated with at work, we’re tearing me up internally. While I wasn’t totally off track, I would have told you God and family were priorities in my life, however, my actions truly weren’t supporting it. Similar to an example Cloud points out in his book, I knew I needed to have a Necessary Ending, however, didn’t have the courage to pull the trigger on my own. So, when the trigger was pulled for me, I screamed at the top of my lungs “I’m free” and truly felt that way. Since that time, the journey hasn’t been easy, however, one can easily see how that “ending” had to have happened in my life to allow me to move on to something greater. For me, a big portion of “greater” is that God and family are truly priorities in my life and I’ve been able to spend a tremendous amount of time with both over the past several years.

This is only one example of “endings” in my life as well as millions of other differing endings that one might experience. I think a couple of things that I’d like to stress in my example which relate to most situations are the following.

First, not all endings are bad endings. In fact, most that I’ve personally experienced or been associated working alongside others have been “good” once pushed through to the other side. Yes, it often takes some time to “push through to the other side”; however, most generally can look back and see how that was in fact a necessary ending in order to move on.

Second, note that I knew I needed to “pull the trigger”; however, didn’t have the courage to do so. Yes, there are times we have to buckle down and fight through the circumstances; however, most know in their “knower” when it’s really time for an ending. The challenge is that we allow the circumstances to go on far to long which normally isn’t doing anyone any favors. In fact, it can be terminal to our business or life if continued to be looked past. I’m sure you know what I’m saying if you think about it. Chances are you have a situation today you need to end.

Finally, note in my example that the measuring stick for success shifted. Judged by my actions, my priorities previously in life were my career and finances. With my particular worldview, this was out of alignment. Endings often allow us time to refocus on what’s truly important in our business and in life. This ability to refocus allows us to excel in those areas were most gifted and passionate.

Well, I anticipate you’re pondering a few endings. If so, it’s often difficult to go it alone. I’d love to listen to your situation and offer a word of encouragement. Chances are, you know what needs to happen; however, maybe I’ll help you get over that hump. I promise, whatever pain you experience will be temporary and it will be worth it in the end.